The 12 Days of Fostering Christmas
Posted 14 November 2024
Ok, we’ve had Bonfire Night and Remembrance Sunday, so now it’s officially safe to mention that Christmas is coming! Whether you’re on the second tub of Celebrations already or still glaring at mince pies in supermarkets – the festive season is nigh. Especially if you’re a foster carer. Manger scenes, twinkly lights, parties and Santa Claus may feel fantastic to many, but for foster children Christmas can be much more complicated.
So, how can we help those in our care navigate the season? Be prepared and remember the Footprints’ 12 Days of Fostering Christmas...
A Cup of Positivity. We admit fostering at Christmas can be challenging. However, we also know that watching a child experience new things, find confidence and grow in a loving home can make everything worthwhile. Head into the season with positivity and possibly a cup of tea. Know we are always here to help you at Footprints.
Two Contact Sessions. Foster children can particularly miss their birth family at Christmas so if appropriate, arrange a contact session. Try making a small present with your child for them to give, or make and send Christmas cards to birth family they cannot visit.
Three Shopping Trips. Guaranteed, it will probably be more. Ask your child what they would like to eat over Christmas, explain what you usually have, combine the two, make a list and hit up the supermarkets. Shopping together can show them they won’t be hungry, help them feel involved and reassure them there will be ‘safe’ foods. It's also a great opportunity for learning some independence skills.
Four New Traditions. To help your child feel welcome and included, ask them if there are any traditions from their past Christmases they’d like to do. As far as possible, incorporate these into your plans.
Five Meltdowns. Let’s be honest, there may well be tears, tantrums or meltdowns. From your child or you. Try to keep your child well-prepared, in routine and be ready to change your plans if something isn’t working. Let them feel all the big feelings they are experiencing and be there to listen and reassure.
Six Spare Gifts. While you’re shopping, add a few extra gifts into your basket in case visitors drop by with a gift for you, but not your foster child. Keep them wrapped, hidden and ready to discreetly whip out so no one ends up feeling left out.
Seven Christmas Movies. Festive snacks and a Christmas family movie are a great way to spend a relaxed evening where everyone is together. Let each person take a turn at picking the movie to boost inclusion and self-esteem.
Eight Event Invites. Yup, Christmas is the season to be sociable. But only on your terms. Never feel guilty for declining an invite or simply having a quiet month if it’s what your foster child needs. Or indeed, what you need.
Nine Hot Chocolates. Warm, soothing, slightly indulgent – hot chocolate is perfect for getting together and enjoying a treat. It can relax children and be a great adult alcohol alternative if your child is wary of booze. It can also relax children and taking some time out together can help build bonds and memories.
Ten Minutes Peace. Christmas can be easily become hectic and overwhelming for foster children. Make sure you schedule in some quiet times for everyone and ensure your child always has a safe space they can retreat to without question if needed, like their bedroom.
Eleven Cookie Recipes. Baking together is a great way to bond with your foster child and let them feel involved in the festivities. If you need inspiration, Bake Off graduate Martha Collison has a fabulous selection of Christmas recipes to try.
Twelve WhatsApp Messages. Finally, don’t forget yourself this festive season. Remember to keep in contact with your support network to cheer, cry or just vent. Visits, lunches out and WhatsApp messages all count. Try and find people who are happy for you to contact them even on Christmas Day. You are important too!
If you need any more advice ahead of the season or you are considering becoming a foster carer, please contact us. You’ll find us eyeing up our next mince pie.