Lego, Girls & Perfectionism
Posted 9 April 2024
From Dulux releasing scratch and sniff paints to Krispy Kreme’s ‘glaze anything’ promotion and Aldi’s surprisingly popular Haggis-Dazs ice cream, the big brands were on good form for April Fools this year. Did you get caught out? If you did, don’t worry, we’re sure you’re not the only one – and nobody’s perfect. In fact, let’s repeat that – nobody is perfect. Despite the fact perfectionism pops up everywhere.
Today, this ubiquitous attainment target seems to be pushed harder than ever and particularly at girls. So much so that global brick giant Lego has stepped in to make a stand. The fight against perfectionism is on...
Now, perfectionism itself isn’t all bad. Indeed, striving to be better, hit goals or simply do well at something can be a real positive. A trait to encourage in our foster children. When life becomes more about the perfection than the process to get there though, problems arise. If procrastination is the thief of time, then unchecked, perfection can be the thief of joy.
Which the Lego Group has shown nicely. Findings from their latest global research show girls feel intense pressure to be perfect. This consequently having a huge impact on their confidence and holding them back from reaching their full potential. In Lego’s short film, More Than Perfect, the girls can be seen taking on the task of building a playground. Twice. In the first instance, they are asked to build something perfect, being meticulous. In the second, they are encouraged simply use their imagination and have fun.
The results are both striking and heartbreaking. During the ‘perfect’ challenge, the girls can be seen cautiously working, stressed and worried about getting their build wrong. In the second, they appear released, relaxed and happy. Their final builds are also better. The girls were asked some questions too. Their answers showed nearly three quarters were anxious about making mistakes in life and two thirds felt pressured by society’s messages of perfection.
For girls especially, perfection promises to scratch those ‘I want to be liked’, ‘I want to be happy’, ‘I want to be successful’ and ‘I want to be in control’ itches. Powerful for any girl, so often stronger for those in care. As the iconic Lego brick has shown though, the pursuit of perfectionism comes at a cost. As well as inducing feelings of failure and inhibiting risk-taking and creativity, mental health can take a real beating. Chasing perfection has been linked to depression, anxiety, panic and eating disorders, phobias and obsessive compulsive disorder.
So how can we help girls (and boys) in our care to live their best lives, yet avoid the perfect trap? Firstly, help them to enjoy the journey - praise effort rather than outcome. Next, help them to embrace failure – show them that all-important unconditional love, be honest about your own fears and failures, stand with them if they fall and help them pick themselves up again. Finally, encourage self-esteem – help them find positive role models, value self-care and redefine success.
For girls, perfectionism problems are real, but not inevitable. Lego has started a ball rolling, it’s up to us to keep it moving. The fight against perfection has begun - let battle commence! If you’d like to chat with us further about this article, or anything foster-related, please contact us. Until then, we’re off to find some bricks...