So, how was your Valentine’s Day? Were you wined and dined, or did you stuff some roses in a vase while Peppa Pig serenaded you? Perhaps you’re single and were glad to save money? The origins of the day were pretty different to all of these. It’s generally considered to date back to the martyrdom of St Valentine, a third Century priest in Rome who defied the orders of the emperor by illegally marrying loved-up couples. Romantic.

From tragic beginnings, the day grew into the celebration we now recognise, with cards thanks to Charles the Duke of Orleans and chocolates courtesy of a certain Mr R Cadbury. Not forgetting flowers after Sweden’s King Charles II took a trip to Persia and discovered floriography.

One thing has remained constant though, Valentine’s Day gets the world thinking about love. Here at Footprints we’re no different, but we’ve been thinking more about showing love to children in our care. A brilliant kind of love.

A few years ago, renowned expert and speaker, Dr Gary Chapman, came up with the theory that the ways we give and receive love in any kind of relationship can be placed into five categories, or ‘languages’. These being: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. He suggests that while we should use all five, we each will have one that particularly speaks to us. One which, when used, will make us feel especially loved. Children included.

Clearly the relationship between love and foster children can be a difficult and complicated one, but finding a specific, relevant way to show care to a looked-after child can help their bonding, development and self-esteem. The 5 Love Languages of Children is a good read, but for a quick guide, here are some ways that you may be able to show your foster child some love and care in a way they really get...

Words of affirmation - children can especially appreciate little notes in their lunchbox, a message of praise on WhatsApp, or direct congratulations. Try as well, ‘whispering’ to another adult about something you thought the child did well when you know they can hear you.

Acts of service - children appreciate practical things you do to help them, like helping them get dressed, making a special meal they mentioned, or getting their favourite programme ready to steam as soon as they get home.

Receiving gifts - children aren’t just materialistic or greedy. They appreciate little, meaningful tokens as well as bigger presents. One or two of their favourite sweets on their pillow, an origami model you made, or some seed for them to feed the birds will all count.

Quality time - children are all about special one-to-one moments with you. Try taking a walk to the park, playing a video game, dancing to a song, or just having a five-minute chat at the end of each day before they sleep.

Physical touch - children appreciate just that. Plus, you can be aware of boundaries and still speak their language. Hugs and kisses are great, but so are high-fives and fist-bumps.

Whatever language you end up speaking today, we hope you enjoy building relationships with children in your care. Or even a co-worker, or spouse. Oh, and if you want to chat about anything foster-related, please contact us – that’s a language we speak very well.